Author	Thread: Perfection and socety
Admin	Perfection and socety Posted : 27 Jul, 2011 07:53 AM As I look at my experiences and wonder why it is hard for me to find a mate for myself I often look at the culture. The culture seems to tell us who people should be with. I once wrote a blog called the Zombie Box, which talks of how television influences how we think and see things. One of the issues that I talked about was how we see relationships. Men always wanted the women that were models. Women wanted the tall handsome man with muscles. I know most men want the model, but that is not reality, not many look as good as you seen on TV, because it is not real. Many women appear to want someone that would protect them. The blog also talked showed the culture and the Christianity. Sometimes the secular world seems to be better than the Church at look at people. I used an sitcom from the 90s called "Family Matters" where the nerd Steve Urkel was hurt because Laura did not want him around. Then an angel came to Laura in a dream., and in a reversal of roles Laura became the geek and Steve became the normal one. She was locked outside in the cold, and found that Steve had feelings like anyone else(normal people). In the end of the series they ended up being engaged to be married. On paper they would not look good, but were brought together. Often in the Church I would hear that certain people look good together, but should be together because of their call or spiritual state. Just because people don't look good on paper does not mean their not a good match. Should we do better than some TV show? One thing that always got me is when I hear women say, "their looking for their Mr. Darcey." They see him as handsome and charming. I see him as arrogant and condescending. He comes across as one who thinks he can have his pick of women. Oh, I did try the watch the whole movie, got through more than half of it, just to ensure all who may be defensive of the movie that I did see it. Often I would hear women imagine themselves with him to a point it become idolatry. Should we go beyond what we see in a movie? I know I see Mr. Darcey differently than most women, but we know it is not real what we see in a movie. I know I have flaws. I had women tell me I was too short, hard to be friends with, and that I was not attractive to them. Often I would hear that I was a nice guy, but would never date him or marry a guy like that. I have disabilities, and have to work harder than most to get things done, but God made who I am. He looks at the heart. Why don't we look at the heart? You do? A friend ask a lady if she would date a guy that was disabled. She told him that she would. I don't know if should would. It is easy to say something like, "I look at the heart," than do it. The culture tells us who we should and should not be with. We should the Lord guidance when it comes to relationships. What are your thought? God bless. Jason. Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Perfection and socety Posted : 29 Jul, 2011 04:03 AM I'm not in dispare, I don't care if someone judges me as long as they do so accuratly, maybe if they did they would get to know me and see the Jesus in me, and of cource my flesh nature. Which is kind of the assertion of this thread. Post Reply
View Profile History	Perfection and socety Posted : 29 Jul, 2011 06:07 AM another point as it relates to movies and tv to guild our thinking. In Spiderman Peater Parker was the nerd before he became spiderman. the girl that he liked did not much to do with him, but when his body changed he became more appealing to her. In another movie I recall a women getting in a bad accident that messed up her face. After the accident her husband left her because she was not longer good looking to him. The women had to have several operation to repair her lip. Often people think that they have to look good at all times. However, as we go through life we will not always look appealing. Whether it is through age or an bad accident. My pastor was talking about a couple that he married. A few months after the couple married the husband gets in a bad accident. The man was left in a wheelchair with brain damage. The woman sent him back to his parents and divorced him. She did not want to take care of him. Sometimes we are selfish and desire all that is good. A marriage is to be "for better or worse," in good times and bad times. Should marriage just be in good times? Post Reply
teach_ib View Profile History	Perfection and socety Posted : 29 Jul, 2011 08:12 PM It would help if none of us based our expectations of who/what is right for a relationship based on movies or TV. We are who God made us-we're not going to magically change. Learning to accept who we are and how God made us will better prepare us for accepting others and most importantly the individual He has chosen for us. Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Perfection and socety Posted : 29 Jul, 2011 08:49 PM assuming He has chosen someone for you :^) You know tonight I am reminded its all about Him..if/when I marry its for Him and not me, I was created for Him. Robbie Post Reply
View Profile History	Perfection and socety Posted : 30 Jul, 2011 11:22 AM Jesus should be our guild in who we marry. Sadly, the culture influences us more than we are willing to admit. Often on here I would read profiles where women are claiming to look for a Godly man. I wonder if we are just looking for someone we would look good with than one who is Godly. Any Thoughts. Post Reply
teach_ib View Profile History	Perfection and socety Posted : 30 Jul, 2011 08:13 PM Seems that's what the guys think. I am not big into looks...I am more interested in how we can serve together in the ministries we've been called for. I couldn't see being connected with someone who wasn't interested in children's ministries no matter how "handsome" he may look based on showcase standards. I find it interesting how there are many people of different sizes, shapes, colorings, backgrounds, etc. That end up together for whatever reason. I think if we get so hung up on why someone doesn't like us we're lmissing the whole point. Like yourself first and others will like you. Post Reply
View Profile History	Perfection and socety Posted : 31 Jul, 2011 12:03 PM I agree with you Rabbit, I don�t have a problem with someone turning me down, just as long as they are accurate about why they turn me down. I really struggle with being alone, but I am not about to marry just anyone so that I won�t be alone. Post Reply
View Profile History	Perfection and socety Posted : 1 Aug, 2011 12:39 PM I read some real interesting posts on this thread. Here is what came to mind when reading the opening post. To me beauty and perfection are two entire different things. Beauty, the one I feel attracted to, comes from the inside. It is the way you carry yourself. Are you salt and light? Perfection is a mania.... it is pushing yourself, or others, to a level where there is zero room for accepting who you are in all nakedness. (not nudity!!). People who strive for perfection can hardly live with their own mistakes, let alone those of others. It is they who usually crash on the couch of some shrink trying to cope with who they really are, they need a drink to cut the edges, or pills to keep them going. They are usually brilliant in their career but absolutely insufferable at (anyone�s) home. oh well.....my 2 cents for now. Post Reply
View Profile History	Perfection and socety Posted : 4 Aug, 2011 11:27 AM People rely too much on promoting themselves rather than looking for what God wants. What do we get when we do it our way? We could hinder God's will, though God can still use you; but not in the best way He intended. Post Reply

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