Author	Thread: A sensitive subject
Rabbit32 View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 25 Jun, 2011 08:57 PM I have a few questions about apperance. I could be wrong, but it sounds like women have a need to be pretty, even attractive; if this is true, than why? As a man I feel pressure to dub a woman as pretty, attractive, etc even if a woman is not, and we all know not ALL women are pretty etc.. I feel compelled however to apologize to those who have been treated unfairly because you were judged on your "looks" when they should have never been a criteria...i.e. a job interview. As for myself I know Im not very attractive, and I am ok with that, I just wish some women didn't look at me as if I was going to eat there souls lol. :) Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 26 Jun, 2011 05:57 PM As a woman, I want to be told that I'm beautiful because it makes me feel good. Plain and simple. I guess that's selfish, but at least I'm honest about it. I don't want to be lied to, however...if a guy doesn't find me attractive, I don't want him to tell me that he does. He just needs to move on and find someone that he DOES find attractive. Now, I know I'm not all that beautiful by the world's standards. I have an hourglass figure, but it's a little on the larger size (I wear a size 10-12, to give you an idea of what I call "larger"). My hair is frizzy no matter what I do to it. I have round arms that no amount of weight lifting seems to help. But I still think that somewhere there HAS to be a guy who might find me attractive enough to call "pretty" or "beautiful". I forget who it was who mentioned this (maybe GodsLamb?), but I agree that I don't want to be told that I'm beautiful the first time I talk to someone. That seems like flattery to me. The last guy I dated didn't tell me that he found me beautiful until we'd been dating for over a month. By that point, he'd seen me at my best and not-so-best, and I knew he meant what he said. So, in short...as a girl I want to be told that I'm beautiful/pretty because it makes me feel good about myself...but I only want to hear that compliment if it is sincerely given. Post Reply
View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 26 Jun, 2011 08:14 PM Why do Women want to be told they are beautiful: My opinion is this: When God created Eve and brought her to Adam and Adam saw her, He was moved by this glorious being he practically sang the first love song "Bone of my Bone and Flesh of My flesh", he didn't say "I love your spirit." or "you have a great personality" or "You have a heart for God that I find attractive" he went to the physical. Thats just the way she was created, to be told she is beautiful. In the bible i've noticed the Lord talks alot about the outward beauty of a woman, even in song of solomon she is described to be beautiful physically. I love being told i'm lovely, I won't lie. Because it just feels great. I know that sounds so... blah, but its true! I want to be not only lovely spiritually and character wise but as physically as I can, thats why I try to take care of myself and my appearance. One may call that shallow, but I do not think so. If its wrong to look at someones appearance physically, then God should have made us invisible. but he gave us physical bodies and eyes to see. I dunno if this all made sense but this is what I think. Post Reply
i_live_in_canada View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 26 Jun, 2011 08:35 PM I agree with River. We don't care what other guys think, just the one that we care about. Today I was working in a very public place. I was not impresed or flattered by all the men telling me how atractive I was. All it did was make me feel violated. My last boyfriend had issues saying mushy things. I Knew he was atracted to me but still needed to hear it some times. But of course he didn't say it much. If I would ask he would just say "you know I find you attractive". I try to make it a point to tell my children that I love them every day. I'm sure they know but it's still important to actualy say it. As for the poster, I am not sure what the exact situation you are refearing to. But unless you are in a relationship I would not be telling them that they are beautiful. If it is some one you are involved with just think of how you would feel. We all want to be loved, excepted, apreacated and beautiful in the eyes of our partner. Post Reply
View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 26 Jun, 2011 08:37 PM If you want a guy to tell you that you are beautiful, then you should work at being beautiful. The hard part is understanding the difference between what you are and what you can change. You shouldn�t worry about things that can only be changed through surgery, you have to trust in God that he will bring you someone who can appreciate who you are. But, there are things that one can change to make yourself a little more attractive, such as your weight, how you dress, and how you keep yourself groomed. The frustrating part is when women don�t work on those things, and then expect men to just find them beautiful. It�s a lot like a guy sitting around not working or taking on responsibility, and then expecting a woman to say that he is dependable. Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 26 Jun, 2011 10:28 PM If a woman's beauty for her man, than why does she adorn herself in a way to cathch other men's attention...especially immodest dress?? :) or have is that an incorrect correlation? Post Reply
i_live_in_canada View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 27 Jun, 2011 08:57 AM There is a big difference between dressing over the top and dressing nice. If a woman is showing it all and over done up I would say she does want attention from lots of men. That could stem from low self asteem issues. But there is definitely nothing wrong with men or wemen taking care of there looks. After all if you found an attractive lady would you want her to let it all go after you got her. It's just like making your home nice looking. Or your car, truck. We feel good when we keep up the condition of our surroundings. Just as the vehicle is there to transport us so is the body. The way it looks has nothing to do with the way it functions. Still we feel more content if it is visually pleasing. Post Reply
View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 27 Jun, 2011 09:47 AM Speaking for my self only...I have no desire to be told I am beautiful or pretty or cute...these are a persons perspective of the physicalness of my being and not the Totality of who I am...I do desire that a person see beyond the physical to the spiritual essence of my being for when they do...they will truely see who I am and whos I am...Its interesting to me when a Gent says on a 1st time meeting or church or a evening out upon greeting...you look very nice...I just smile and say...You to...even if I find a Gent to be quite Good Looking I want to get to know about them...I can see they are a Looker...but its the Inside Stuff I'm interested in...I've been told that Jesus was not a very handsom man and that makes no differance to me...I love him no matter what He looks like...for He loved me first and just as I am...xo Post Reply
View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 27 Jun, 2011 10:40 AM yea, i dont know about this one... lol Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 27 Jun, 2011 04:27 PM yah, I agree with Canada and GJ Post Reply
sweetsurprise View Profile History	A sensitive subject Posted : 4 Jul, 2011 08:17 AM I enjoyed reading this post and the thought that went into everyone's answers. I will also offer my opinion, as that, just an opinion, not expecting that others will necessarily agree with me. I think it is fair to go back to the beginning, when God created Adam, Gen. 2: 18"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 19And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. 20And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. 21And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." I find it interesting that God waited to create Eve until Adam realized he was alone or maybe even felt lonely. God said He would make a help meet for Adam and then created all the animals, paired, but seemed to allow time to pass to allow Adam to realize that he was w/o a partner. When He created Eve, He took a rib from Adam, which Adam was aware of ~ it probably didn't cause him pain at that point ~ that is until he fall. Most men are aware of the cost that there is associated with a woman. If a man chooses wisely, it will be to his benefit (she will give him far more than he ever paid), if not; well, there are plenty of examples of the great cost to his life. There is nothing at this point about Eve's beauty or if she needed to feel beautiful. When I pondered this, I wonder if that was because there was no one else to be compared to, that both did not feel threatened and if you really consider the fact that Eve was given to Adam as a gift! Just as today, the problem is that WE no longer hold special regard for the one that we marry (especially those in the world). I really think that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That we were ALL created to be loved by another and to be appreciated and loved for ALL that we bring into that marriage, not just our beauty, as women or a man's handsomeness. We ALL do know people, who are beautifully sculpted and yet their entire life is either spent on keeping that facade or that they are NOT beautiful on the inside, anywhere. Who we are, on the inside is part of what makes us beautiful on the outside, for both men and women. So, why do we women want to hear that we are beautiful to the man that has chosen us? That would seem rather simple, because we, as women, were created to want to please, not only our Lord, but the man that God would unite us with. We would want to believe that he chose this one above all the rest. We know men were created to rule over the dominion and we were to be alongside as a help mate(meet). I, as a woman, am hoping to be chosen, not just for outward beauty but also for all the time and hard work that went into becoming the woman of God I am today (the active desire to better who I am with education, with decisions of integrity, Bible study, protecting my heart and body for the one that God has for me, etc.) All of this, is what creates my outward beauty, even when my years have begun to show their wear (and they have). The hope is that we would marry younger and be with that "One True Love" our entire life! Yes, under those circumstances, I do hope that my husband would find me to be beautiful to him and that he would continue to chose me over any other woman. You throw in the world thinking though and of course, things get very muddled, very quickly. Why do you think that God created so many different choices? Tall, short, skinny, heavy, black, brunette, blonde, red, dark skinned, indian, asian, light skin? Because just as He gave us free will, He also wants to provide choices in the way that He created our total package and that we are free to chose what ever type we like (hopefully that person will also chose us). We, in America for sure, are thrown beauty everyday in the form of advertising, a cheap shot from a company trying to manipulate you to buy their product and by doing so, increasing their profits! God asked us not to compare ourselves in this way for a reason 2 Corinthians 10:12 "For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise." If we compare ourselves to the wrong things, we will lose sight of the real goal in our lives. Remember, we WERE all placed here for a purpose and we are told many times to not lose sight of the goal Hebrews 12:1 "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us," There are other verses, but this seemed the most concise. I hope this brings yet a little more perspective into your initial question. Post Reply

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