Author	Thread: What is the preferred length of a first message?
Admin	What is the preferred length of a first message? Posted : 4 Jun, 2011 05:30 AM Whenever I read a profile and decide I want to send somebody a message, I do it. Usually, I'll send a message that relates to my understanding of some element of the profile, whatever I found interesting, and whatever I think might be able to spin off into a conversation. Often, I will write a paragraph, sometimes more depending on how much my mind wanders as I forge the words and absently transcribe them onto this little, white box here. If somebody replies to a complex message I send, it's always some sort of single sentence line that displays an interest and a willingness to continue the conversation, but nothing in the manner of following up on the actual message. It's always, "Wow! lol. Hi." And I'm talking about English speaking girls here, usually with profiles that denote clear thinking and effective writing abilities (I rarely email somebody who clearly can't write. When I have done so, as expected, I cannot effectively communicate or, who could guess, I don't get a reply back). So, I'll try to keep conversations alive, and the girl will always reply without contributing until I'm all worn out and the conversation has been utterly strangled. Then I just give up. In other instances, I'll just send some simply, prickly message. Those are less likely to get a response, but sometimes I'll get lucky. I'll see that a girl's race is mixed and ask, you know, "So I can't figure out what your race is either." I could go on to describe the compilation of country affiliations that conglomerate to create my "mutt" status or I could just throw the simple line. If they ever do respond to a one-liner, it's usually a one-liner reply that can evolve into a better discussion, surprisingly. So tell me, women, which length do you prefer in your emails? Do you want to read a detailed mini-essay/speech/introduction that will give you multiple angles for continuing a conversation, whether or not you choose to use any of them? Or do you prefer a quick line that is easily replied to, although nearly devoid of depth? And while I'm asking questions: If the latter is your choice, when, generally, throughout the online relationship, are you ever actually going to be ready to discuss things that will contribute to the continuation of a relationship(not a romantic relationship. An interpersonal relationship)? Post Reply
View Profile History	What is the preferred length of a first message? Posted : 6 Jun, 2011 01:29 PM There is clearly a difference between someone sending you a message that has so many errors that you simply cannot read it and someone sending you a message that has a number of mistakes but is still readable. It borders elitism when you feel you are above someone based on their level of English. Post Reply
View Profile History	What is the preferred length of a first message? Posted : 6 Jun, 2011 03:48 PM @bcp: At risk of being forthright; if you're meeting up with this guy, why not call it a date and give it a shot? Provided neither of you are insisting on staying put, it could work and you obviously *want* to spend time together... I know it's none of my business, but I'd hate for you to miss an opportunity, girl - in whatever form it takes! :glow: Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	What is the preferred length of a first message? Posted : 6 Jun, 2011 08:14 PM Dkj, my friend and I are enjoying the time we are spending together. I reckon most people would call our outings "dates", but I'm trying to guard my heart in the situation...and that is hard to do. Calling it "dating" would somehow make it tougher when nothing more works out between us. And that's the direction he seems to want to go...friendship only. Because I value him as a friend, I don't want to force him to try to feel things he doesn't feel. But who knows...miracles do still happen! (And I think that's what it would take...a miracle.) Post Reply
View Profile History	What is the preferred length of a first message? Posted : 7 Jun, 2011 05:46 AM Thankfully I know someone who kinda specialises in miracles... I'll ask Him if you like? Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	What is the preferred length of a first message? Posted : 7 Jun, 2011 06:27 PM You can ask Him if you want, Dkj! I know I've certainly asked for a miracle plenty of times. I spent about 18 hours with this friend over the past 3 days, and I know that I still like him a lot, but I don't think his feelings run any deeper than "friendship". Oh well...it was 18 of the most fun hours I've spent in a long time! Post Reply
View Profile History	What is the preferred length of a first message? Posted : 8 Jun, 2011 01:29 AM i would prefer,short,precise and to the point introduction of oneself,with a question to want to know the other better hence the conversation to birth from there. Post Reply

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