Author	Thread: Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter?
Admin	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 06:30 AM I wanted to just get some insight into the world of Christian dating about attraction and the physical elements that come along with it. I understand that this life is short and we shouldn't be concerned with the physical but when it comes to dating and marriage...that is something that we only get here on this Earth. I don't believe I get to heaven and my wife comes running to me saying "I'm so glad you're here, I've been lonely." Till death do us part means our relationship ends at death correct? So anyway, it seems like people expect Christians (Specifically men) to overlook physical beauty and look at the heart. I know men are very visual and God created us that way (Why? I'm not sure) but do you believe we should pursue or even entertain the thought of dating women we are not attracted to physically? I know women do that all the time, but I feel like they are wired differently. I guess I would just like to hear some well thought out responses to this, because I seem to get a lot of ridicule for having high standards and wanting certain physical attributes to be there when I consider dating and marriage. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 08:09 AM I think it's important that there be some kind of physical attraction also. We're supposed to love EVERYONE like Christ does by "looking at their heart", right? I think marriage is very different, and I think "physical attraction" goes a long way in cementing a long-term relationship. It should definitely not be the only thing that puts you in a marriage relationship, but I do think it's a necessary part. Marriage is about two people being so attracted to each other, physically and emotionally, that they want to be as close to them as is physically/emotionally possible. I just don't understand why some people think I should have to be in a marriage relationship with someone I'm not "attracted" to in every way. :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 08:33 AM Hello Rightwing, Welcome to the forum! =) U did bring some points in a very nice way lol Well, for me, since I very dislike to be judged based on my appearance, and I take care of myself well, I try to keep myself attractive (NOTE: i didnt mention beautiful/pretty, being attractive doesnt always mean physically), so when i read things like u put in ur profile like u want a woman of that height or long hair (even tho i have long hair i still feel like it is pretty much high expectation), u see, i mean even like if it is a fact and i physically fit in the category but it's still hard to see it as not a high expectation (seriously, even its a real fact), i was thinkin like "ok,when i cut my hair then this guy would dismiss me" and,the last time i had my hair short was 10 years ago and i only trim my hair half inch every few months, never plan to cut it short, but still the thought was there. U know what i mean? (Ladies, is it only me being weird or anythin lol). And most women even christian women, like i posted in the other topic, rarely 100% confidence bout themselves. I think thats the reason behind the expectation of christian men would overlook women appearance. I learn alot since I met Jesus. I now accept the fact that men are visual creature, and men love to stare on women (another why lol), and how a wife is the representative of her hubby therefore a wife should take gud care of herself, a wife should be a role model (i dun want my daughter to look bad and act bad) things like that. At this point i still dun really 100% understand why men are like that (sometimes i wonder why women are like that as well lol) and keep asking why, why and why, but as long as it is biblical and it gjves positive impact, i will go for it, sometimes not easy but at least i am willing and trying, then Gods grace helps and covers me =) To act first then the feeling will follow, isnt this is what we call faith? :applause: Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 09:57 AM I'm with you on this man. I think wondering why men are more visually-oriented is a waste of time since that's just the way God wired us. It's like asking someone why they like being happy. Additionally, I think too many women are like a pair of brothers who can pass as twins but think they look nothing alike. They focus on their flaws or how different they look than some actress and don't think they're attractive, even though plenty of other people can see it. Should physical attraction be the main requirement? Absolutely not. But should physical attraction not be a factor at all? Of course not. Everything about who someone is factors into some form of total attraction. Both men and women need to be looking for someone we think is the total package. That's going to look a lot different between people, but if they're convinced of it, that's all that matters, right? Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 03:52 PM I'm not one to say "This girl has everything I want in a good wife but you know what? She is 5'8...that's not going to cut it." I'm not shallow. I just don't think I should have to compromise because people want to call you unchristianlike because you value certain physical characteristics. At some point I'm going to get old and this 26 year old body, I've worked on in the gym for years and years is going to go away. I understand that. I also understand that my Wife's beauty will fade so I always make sure that Physical beauty is not the main attraction. I just think it's important for me and I know God said he would give me the desires of my heart and I don't think liking physical things about a woman is unbiblical. Women need to know who they are in Christ and not let my profile decide their worth. There are plenty of standards I don't meet for women but I'm not going to let that decide my worth. I know who I am and I'm confident in that. Sometimes it's the confidence that can be attractive. You may not possess all of the physical qualities society says matter but if you are confident in who you are, you have a much better chance of being attractive than you would if you spend your time beating yourself up because you don't. Post Reply
DEEDEE72 View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 04:03 PM Tulip - I have a question for you. I have read other posts of yours and we can both agree that an attractive spouse is importnat to a man. How is it that, that need is valid for men but when women talk about what they need your reply seems to be women need to pray and back off from their God given needs. The Bible says a man should live with his wife in an understanding manner and also tells him over and over to love her. The only way for men and women to get what they need is for us to stop patting men on the back and telling them is is ok to be visual but tell women they need to go and pray to God because as women we want too much. Women have needs that are just as LEGITIMATE. We have established that only God can meet ALL our needs but he has set up the institutition of marriage to meet a part of our human needs on earth. That is why only a small few have been called to a life of celibacy. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 06:10 PM Deedee, I'm assuming you're referring to the post you made about Captivating. I'm sorry if I didn't communicate it properly, but I was simply trying to say that when you boil things down to the basics, the desires of men's hearts and the desires of women's hearts are very, very similar. We were both created in the image of God. Further, here, I was attempting to communicate here that physical attraction is a valid factor in overall attraction. It's valid for men, and it's valid for women. If anyone heard their spouse say, "It doesn't matter that I don't think you're physically attractive. I really love everything else about you," it would crush them. What one man likes and what another man likes can often greatly differ, just as women's preferences differ. I guarantee that if you ask every man on his wedding day if he thinks his bride is physically attractive, he will say absolutely, no matter what. The same goes for brides and their husbands. Is it the most important factor? Not at all. But looking for someone you're attracted to physically isn't wrong for men and it isn't wrong for women. Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 07:11 PM I really think that it depends on the age and possibly also your experience. I know someone that have been through the ringer as far as realtionships go and he is looking for a "good woman"...not gorgeous, not good body, etc. This person only dated very pretty women when he was younger but now realized that it's not what is on the outside that is important. Because men are visual creatures, what they find attractive in a woman could very well be what is on the inside that is coming out in her smile, laugh or whatever. Men arent all the same. I know this to be true. I have 2 brothers and believe me, one of them did NOT go for looks and he's been married 25 years now. when your young, sure you go for the looks but I think that changes when you get older and the maturity comes in. The SAME goes for the women though guys, so dont get upset with me. :) You know I love you guys :) Post Reply
SilverFire View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 07:23 PM The requirement for looks has never changed for me, from 18-38. I know what appeals to me, visually, and that's an important factor. However, I've always had a wide range of what appeals to me and I see beautiful women wherever I go. Sorry ladies, men don't get "mature" in giving up liking women who look good to them. The best you can hope for is finding a guy who likes how you look and then you become his standard for beauty. Of course, that's how it's supposed to work, but never mind...I know men really need to become like women. Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 07:25 PM it's ok Silverfire, I can have my opinion :) and I know men who proved it to be true. Post Reply
DEEDEE72 View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 07:36 PM It's not about Captivating. I did not write the post I mearley copied what Staci Eldredge said. I get bored at work I read stuff and post it on here to hear what people think. Here is a question for all the guys. You are married to Godly Halle Berry or what ever your ideal woman is. She gets in a car accident and loses her looks then what? She has an illness and puts on 100 pounds then what? Women are happy to be called beautiful and we want to be attractive to the person we are with. Will she be replaced if any of the above happens or she gets old? God made each of you visual and there is no shame in that. You are doing exactly what your creator expected you to do. Post Reply

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