Author	Thread: Affection...from a girl's perspective
bcpianogal View Profile History	Affection...from a girl's perspective Posted : 28 Apr, 2010 03:38 PM Pixy posted a good topic on affection over in "Ask a Guy." I thought it might be interesting to get the girls' opinions, so here is a modified version of Pixy's question: How affectionate would you like for a guy to be on a first date? Would you want him to hold hands with you? Hug? Kiss? Or not touch at all? At what pace would you want him to progress with affection? Post Reply
View Profile History	Affection...from a girl's perspective Posted : 28 Apr, 2010 04:04 PM I read the book "Passion and Purity" by Elisabeth Elliot a few years ago and she talked about not doing anything that would "whet the appetite" so I don't want to kiss or hold hands until I'm married. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Affection...from a girl's perspective Posted : 28 Apr, 2010 04:41 PM Let me just say that I have been pretty impressed with the guys' answers. Katie, I've read the book "True Stories of Passion and Purity" (the sequel/storybook to the other) by Elisabeth Elliot, and she makes a lot of good points. I loved that book; you should see if you can get hold of it...I think you would like it! Personally, I would want to move very slowly when it comes to affection. Physical touch tends to make me lose all sense of logic, and that's not always a good thing! On a first date, NO physical affection would be enough for me. If a guy is attracted to me, he can show it in other ways. As we become more comfortable and committed, then he can hold my hand or hug me. Any serious making out needs to wait until marriage. The jury is still out on the whole kissing thing. I used to say NO WAY before marriage, but then I got to thinking that a practice kiss or two in the days before the wedding would be a good idea. Other than that, kissing wouldn't be a good idea for me...again, because I don't want to lose hold of logic and do something I'd regret. Post Reply
View Profile History	Affection...from a girl's perspective Posted : 28 Apr, 2010 05:45 PM I think this has been asked before. For me, if I had known the man for a long time online (say, a month) and we finally met - I would have no problem giving him a one-armed hug - just a couple of seconds. Or a hand shake would be no problem. Nothing more. And, I would let him initiate anything. If we had only been communicating a few days or a week or so --- then I might feel comfortable shaking his hand if he offered it. Otherwise, no. If by the third date I wasn't getting even a hand shake or one-armed hug, then I would ask. If he was holding back because he was being a gentleman and felt God's leading to do so..... then I would have no problem at all with it. You just need to communicate these things so both people are on the same page. Post Reply
View Profile History	Affection...from a girl's perspective Posted : 28 Apr, 2010 06:24 PM I wouldnt actually date a person until I have been talking to them frequently and for long periods of time. By the time we finally meet I'm pretty sure the affection thing will have been covered in conversation so... something that I would be comfortable with would um...well how about alot of eye contact, that tells me he's interested without him being handsy. No kissing cuz I'm like pianogal, lose ALL logic. after the 2nd date I think it would be nice to hold hands because by then I 'll know if I really like him enough to continue. So, if there is a second date, yes hand holding is allowed. whew, it's tough cuz I'm not in the situation so I guess I could ramble on about it but not in the situation so....I probably shouldnt have answered, lol... I think I'm nervous just typing this out, hahahahaha Riveroflife Post Reply
View Profile History	Affection...from a girl's perspective Posted : 29 Apr, 2010 12:39 AM May I "butt" in? I'll take that as a Yes! Somewhere in the "dating" process Affection is going to come into play. A touch here...a caress there...a Hug. Our fingertips have the most nerve endings on our body and our lips have the second most. We as Christians must "learn" to Overcome "desires" and "impulses" that will lead us astray. If you feel Affection for someone or especially Love...then you Have to be able to Kiss them! Now...for hold long and how intense...is the question, but...Ladies...if the relationship has progressed to the point of Love...KISS the Guy!! Si? Yes? This will also show you how disciplined he is and how disciplined he will be after he is married (resisting outside temptations). Post Reply
View Profile History	Affection...from a girl's perspective Posted : 29 Apr, 2010 06:20 AM I guess I'll have to let you know when I'm in that predicament. VERY much out of practice on the whole scene. Post Reply
SOS4EMAILFRIEND View Profile History	Affection...from a girl's perspective Posted : 29 Apr, 2010 07:59 AM I guess I am somewhat different. I shake hands with complete strangers.... when greeting them, introduce myself, conclude a business deal... Holding hands and kisses on the cheek are not so much special things. I am constantly kissed on the cheek by friends while greeting and bidding goodbye, by both male and female. I see no special affection in this, except the joy of seeing eachother and the respect or thanks for the nice evening or conversation when saying goodbye. I imensely enjoy the handkiss ... Some men are just so elegant and classy. Holding hands for me personally is just a cosy thing. When a man and a woman hold hands they might be in love with eachother or just enjoy the friendship.... for me it is not a sign of affection. Here in Brazil you will seldom see a woman walk separately from a man when they are on a date. Men here feel it their duty and responsibility to safely lead the lady from the car into the restaurant for instance. They do not take the hand... they offer it. I think it substitutes the arm??? Besides the above, I do not appreciate any other affection on a date... except the art of flirting. If a gentleman (my age) is still not familiar with the art of flirting... it is a real minus! Ooh and one more thing, there is for me no such thing as a first date kiss or a fifth date kiss. We either kiss or we don�t! Post Reply
View Profile History	Affection...from a girl's perspective Posted : 29 Apr, 2010 08:10 AM I would not kiss on the lips until I really got to know her. An occasional kiss on the cheek would be my style. Holding hands while we walk after I get to know her. I hug many friends at church and shake hands this is just me.Dennis Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Affection...from a girl's perspective Posted : 29 Apr, 2010 08:41 AM SOS, I have a friend (a married guy) from Italy who greets everyone with a hug and girls (and some guys) with a kiss on the cheek. He's learned that's not always appropriate or welcome here in the southern USA, but sometime he forgets! It doesn't bother me at all when he does forget, probably 'cause his wife is usually right there too! But it didn't bother me even when he was still single. It was just his culture. When I try to imagine most of the guys that I know (who are born and raised in Georgia!), it would be totally weird for them to greet anyone with a hug or kiss, unless it was done in a completely joking manner! It's...it's...just not...normal!!! Post Reply
SOS4EMAILFRIEND View Profile History	Affection...from a girl's perspective Posted : 29 Apr, 2010 10:58 AM @bcpianogal I fully understand what you mean. I recognize the "culture" of your friend. But the best kissing people are the French.When I lived in Paris, the worst thing was to get used to the kissing three times when greeting. The secret is that you offer the cheek which has to be kissed first, in order to avoid hilarious or embarassing bumping of glasses and noses.... Of course there are enough French ladies who do not appreciate to be greeted like that, but you have to be really patient for people to remember that... Well I guess every culture and country has its own way. Makes me wonder who invented the kiss (I mean what culture?) Hmmmm maybe a new thread? Post Reply

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