Author Thread: How long you need to know someone before they're right for you
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How long you need to know someone before they're right for you
Posted : 17 Apr, 2010 10:31 AM

What do you think is a good amount of time to know someone before you know if they're meant for you.Personally,I don't think it should take very long at all.What do you think?

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bcpianogal

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How long you need to know someone before they're right for you
Posted : 17 Apr, 2010 12:34 PM

I think it depends on the people. One of my co-workers said that her husband knew by the end of the third date that he would marry her someday...he just had to convince HER of that fact! Other people take a lot longer for any variety of reasons.

I've been dating a guy for 3.5 months, and I still don't know with 100% certainty that he's "the one" for me. There's a lot to consider when looking for a marriage partner.

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How long you need to know someone before they're right for you
Posted : 17 Apr, 2010 01:42 PM

My boss proposed to his then girlfriend after the second date and they've been married with 4 children for 35 years.

I knew someone else that knew each other for 17 days then got married, still together 23 years later.



but hey, only God knows. I dont know if you ever really know someone anyway...



dont put limits on God!!!!!!!



Bless you,

Riveroflife

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Tulip89

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How long you need to know someone before they're right for you
Posted : 17 Apr, 2010 02:26 PM

I know a couple who got engaged after knowing each other for 2 months. My parents didn't get engaged for 4 years. It changes from person to person.

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DontHitThatMark

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How long you need to know someone before they're right for you
Posted : 17 Apr, 2010 05:25 PM

Yeah....I always thought of a relationship as a test to see if you can stand each other for life. So...I don't really think it's too healthy to assume you're going to marry someone...even if it does happen later down the road, we can't see the future...and you might be setting yourself up to lose some faith. The relationship I'm in has been going close to 8 months and I'm still not "sure"...I like to hope though:hearts::goofball:.



:peace::peace:

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GraceMae

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How long you need to know someone before they're right for you
Posted : 17 Apr, 2010 08:46 PM

I'm kinda leaning same as Bcp and River. I guess, I'd also say it'd be a great advantage that the couple are both believers, which would definitely help. Like River says, probably will never know everything about the other person, but if they're both walking in Christ together, and applying the word in the relationship then, it probably wouldn't matter whether it's after the 2nd date, 1 year, or longer. ~GraceMae

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How long you need to know someone before they're right for you
Posted : 18 Apr, 2010 12:38 AM

There is a tendency to react with your "mind's eye"...with your "senses".





"Man...it feels good being with this person".



"I just Love being with them".



Too often we are overwhelmed by "our feelings" and we 'leapt" to conclusions.



TIME is the only indicator of True Feelings. Yes...you may feel at the initial meeting that "THIS IS THE ONE" and you may be right, But...only time will tell.



I would say that just around six months you will begin to see either the End or the Begining of that relationship.



Give it time...Follow God's Teachings and "VIOLA!"...like a cake out of the oven...looking good and smelling fine!





Peace

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SOS4EMAILFRIEND

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How long you need to know someone before they're right for you
Posted : 18 Apr, 2010 04:46 AM

How long you need to know someone before they are right for you?



I agree with all the previous posts of course. I am learning so much from the sharing ideas and opinions on this forum.



Just one thing (and take a coffee):



If you are giving it time to find out if you will live "happily ever after" with that person, then I am afraid you might be wrestling with the wrong questions.



A wedding is not about two singles glued to one in holy matrimony. It is a couple that is able to truly take their vows to eachother, in the presence of their Lord God, knowing for sure that they can stand and hold eachother in harmony and faith in whatever life brings to them. As from their wedding date, they are going to celebrate this knowledge by becoming one in the most essential and holy way. And by doing so, they can and will keep growing more in eachother, to become a rocksolid couple.



There are a lot of people who start off in becoming one and then ask themselves if they can live with that...

There are also people who are lucky enough to find that special person and jump totally in love with eachother into a marriage (or are being pushed) without have the slightest idea how they are going as a couple...



A single can be that wonderful, caring, intelligent, faithful, funny and succesful individual with who you have so much in common and with whom you fully feel connected, but can be a nightmare when having to do things together as a couple.



So how long you need to know someone before they are right for you? Well there is no YOU. There is only US.



Here is my opinion: as long as you are breathing and thinking like a single.... you are not ready. Some take a few days, others take longer and sometimes you have to wait (a real long time) until your beloved one is getting the message...



I did not mean to lecture though... it is just a small warning from someone who had to learn some of the above the hard way. Sincerely hope that it will be of some kind of help.

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bcpianogal

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How long you need to know someone before they're right for you
Posted : 18 Apr, 2010 05:49 AM

I recently read in a Christian dating/relationship book that it's a good idea to have a 2-year timeline...2 years from first meeting to wedding day. The reasoning was that it's easy to get swept away by emotions in a new relationship, and forget some of the more important things. If you get engaged after just a couple months, then married a few months later, you might still be in the lovey-dovey phase. A year later, and you realize that you didn't know the person as well as you thought, or that you were blindly overlooking some major character flaw.

I'm not totally sure I agree with that 2-year timeline. I know too many people who got married having known each other for less than a year, and had great marriages that lasted 'til death did them part. But it's something to think about, at least. Personally, once I know I want to marry a person, I don't see much point in waiting. It seems like that's just setting both of us up for a lot of temptation. It would be better to go slowly at first to make sure of our feelings, then after a longer dating/courtship relationship, get engaged and have a shorter engagement. But that's just my opinion!

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friendsonfire77

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How long you need to know someone before they're right for you
Posted : 18 Apr, 2010 07:36 PM

I'm one of those people who know pretty quickly if there is chemistry and a connection.. while it does take time to get to know a person, true- I do think over a couple of dates I will know if I'm really interested in a long term relationship or not with someone. I think a person needs to know who they are and what they are looking for in another person as well. :rolleyes:

Donna

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DontHitThatMark

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How long you need to know someone before they're right for you
Posted : 19 Apr, 2010 08:44 AM

Yeah...my favorite dating quote is "make haste slowly". Once you decide that what you're feeling toward each other is "headed for marriage"...then get everything out there you can. Make sure that this person is really someone you can TRULY love your whole life....be committed to have love like this for each other even through your faults...



1 Corinthians 13:4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.





:peace::peace:

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