God does not promise to tell you specifically who you are supposed to marry.
I corith 7 tells us to marry if we burn with passion but it also tells us that the best thing to do is to not marry at all because a married person cannot serve the Lord as well as a single person.
the choice to marry is ours just as the choice who we marry is ours. God did give the stipulation that we should marry a Christian(and obviously someone of the opposite sex and someone who is not already married) beyond that God leaves the choice of who we marry up to our desire.
Now there are exceptions in scripture where God DID play matchmaker and God reserves the right to intervene when and where he wants too, however, as a general rule God allows us that choice. To say that God will show you "the One" is presumming prophecy and is a dangerous doctrine to follow, especially when i comes to marriage. I think people set themselves up for false hopes and self-fulfilling prophecies when they start saying "God will show me this" or im waiting for "God to show me that." Im not advocating impatience or ignoring the Holy Spirit. im saying that many Christians are making choices or not making choices because they are waiting for God to tell them something when God has already said all of what he going to say on the matter.
We should ask for guidance and wisdom but asking God who we should marry is like asking God how much should i eat at the All you can eat buffet. God gave guidelines on eating and taking care of the temple of the Lord. While the consequences are different and probably greater for marriage, I imagine God's response for most people would be, i gave you the guidlines, now choose what you want within those guidelines and stick with your choice.
he who chooses to marry does what is right, he who chooses not to marry does what is better. But the choice is yours. would it not make since the if the choice to marry is yours, so also is the choice of who you marry (within scriptural guidlines)
First of all if your a Born Again Believer the answer has to be NO!
WAY! See After a little while of talking and communicating and getting to know that individual- ONE of You would have to Hear :prayingm:from God concerning the relationship. Thats the common denominator that will determine what course the relationship should Go! Now I need you to take a deep breath OK now release!
i think your a bit short on that answer. there are other factors that need to be presented. if you are merely talking over the internet or phone it does not give you the opportunity to get to know someone well enough. meeting in person may highlight a red flag, or an oversight on the part of the other party.
it would be wise for you to take the initiative (as good stewards) to use what God has given us (a spirit of power love and a sound mind) and try to figure it out! 'It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter'. God is there to help us when we fall, not to live it for us.
Here the thing, throughout scripture God has played a role in relationships Adam and Eve- Isaac and rebekah -Joseph and Mary....ect. As 'furyPhonix' mentioned are we to ignore the Holy Spirit when Hes trying to tell you something about somebody that could be a potential "con" with wrong Motives.
I'm with you. I am not a "casual" dater. I know what is important to me when it comes to committing myself to another person. I think it is important to really listen to what the person says and how they live their lives. If you look closely, I believe you can see the true person. Especially if you are honest with yourself and not just look for what you WANT to see in that person.
of course not, we are to be obedient. what does the holy spirit sound like? what i am saying is, we say vague things like 'listen to the holy spirit' instead of using the tools God has laid out before us. God will work things out for our good, but we are not to sit do nothing while he does.
it is written, 'having done all to stand, stand therefore'. God also promised to supply our needs, not our wants. from the context of seeking a husband, if i get to a road block, God will step in, but how did i get there in the first place?
i was addressing your original post "Do i need to date 20 people to find the "one"?"; which, since you did not give any background, i considered to be the journey...not the only one (to finding 'the one'), but the most commonly traveled path.
the journey should consists of prayerful consideration, reading the word and being a sensible steward of God. you may argue that you would have done all of that in the first place and that is how you know God doesn't want you with that person, that is valid.
The Holy Spirit is not going to tell you every step to take. The examples you point to in scripture are the exception and not the rule.
God MAY give you a vision or dream to point you in the direction he wants you to go. However, you're asking for trouble when you say that God will tell something specifically as who you should marry when God has left that choice up to us.(in general)
According to this finding "the One" doctrine, you should be walking around with an engagement ring in your pocket and when God shows you the One, you should propose right then and there. Assuming the girl doesn't freak out and run off.
I must ask, did God tell you to get a dating website? Are you going to chat once and then propose via email? What if the one you're talking too doesn't believe that you are the One for her? Did God even tell you that he wants you to be married in the first place?
My questions do not come out of a void. I had an ex girlfriend tell me that she ask God about it and she said that even before she talked to me that God had told her i was the One. I didn't know whether to believe it or not. God did not show me anything either way. We didn't have a good relationship and ultimately she decided that somehow God's plan got messed up and she decided she would marry someone else. Now last i checked, God doesn't make mistakes, so either i was lied too, or God did speak and she just chose to go her own way.
My point is execise wisdom and test the spirits. You may feel like the Holy Spirit is moving you but it may not be the Holy Spirit and there is a good chance, it is you fooling yourself to think that the Holy Spirit is telling you something.
IF (big if) God clearly told you unmisakably who you should marry, he will make it happen if you choose to follow him however, i think that is something that should be kept to yourself. Because telling the "One" that its God's will can be taken as spiritual obligation and implying that if they do not marry you, they are going against the will of God.
