dear happy, good question.. i believe that the ones that work out till death do them part are the ones that listened and heard what GOD was sayin to em about their potential mates..
i also believe the ones that didnt make it ,well they could of been good choices that turned bad , or maybe they was just plain bad choices to begin with, or maybe we just didnt hear what GOD was sayin to us ,or we just didnt care one..
either way it was us choosin badly.. or someone else chose badly hehe...
God gave all free will. He also gave us the tools and instructions for a lasting, loving marriage. I liken marriage to the tumblers that you place two raw, course stones into and then set them to tumbling and in time (if they don't break up) they come out smooth shining jewels.
If two people really. truely love each other they will rub off the rough edges and end up a perfect fit.
I believe that God does not choose your mate. The idea that God has predetermined someone for you is not Biblical thinking. God certainly knows who you will end up with if at all, but God knowing the future and God redetermining specific events are two separate kettles of fish. If God predetermined who you would marry and then that person commits adultery on you and you get divorced, then how does that reflect upon God? Would God knowingly place you in a marriage that would end up in divorce since God HATES divorce to begin with? Considering that divorce among Christians is actually not as high as pagans but still pretty high, that would seem to me to make God look like He does not know what He is doing if He were in fact picking everyone's mate.
Now is God involved in the process so to speak? Of course He is. He has given us His Word to have knowledge and He blesses us with His wisdom and He will guide us if we listen so as to make a good sound decision. But the responsibility for us making the right decision in choosing a mate rests squarely on our shoulders. We make the wrong decision when we walk in the flesh and are guided but our lustful desires, wrong motivation and improper priorities as to the qualities we are to seek in a mate. Here is a scripture that should help clarify as to who picks the mate.
1Cor 7:39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, SHE IS AT LIBERTY to be married to whom SHE WISHES, only in the Lord. NKJV
1Cor 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead,... SHE IS AT LIBERTY...to be married to whom ......SHE WLL; only in the Lord. KJV
The key here is that a person is at liberty to married to whomever they choose as long as they are a fellow believer and of course the assumption is that that person is able to get married or re-married Biblically speaking.
What do we do with this scripture? "what God hath joined together?"
I kind of see it as all of us having certain personalities and passions and God knows the ones that would fit us best and if we pray for His guidance then He will cause a divine appointment with someone that fits. There are good fits and bad fits and whose to say that we don't make bad decisions in marriage and because we have free wills a good marriage can go bad if one in it quits working at it out of coldness toward God.
If fathers arranged marriages in the old testament could it be that our Heavenly father arranges them now?
1Cor 7:39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, SHE IS AT LIBERTY to be married TO WHOM SHE WISHES, only in the Lord. NKJV
It is clear, just like the passage about being "equally yoked" are qualifiers as to the person we choose must be a fellow believer. But let's look at who picks the mate.
First we see that we must be able to get remarried.
Second we see that it is, in this case, the woman who is at liberty to to get remarried and that it is a person of her choosing, not God's.
What does the word" liberty" mean?
[G1658 eleutheros pronounced el-yoo'-ther-os
Probably from the alternate of G2064; unrestrained (to go at pleasure), that is, (as a citizen) not a slave (whether freeborn or manumitted), or (generally) exempt (from obligation or liability): - free (man, woman), at liberty.]
So we see that in the Greek it means the same as we would interpret it to be in English.
God's choice is implied by the statement..."Only in the Lord",...meaning that God says that person you choose must be a fellow believer in Christ. That is God's requirement if you will. The rest is up to you. God will guide us to make a good decision...."IF" we listen. But it is still our choice. We just need to choose wisely.
