Author	Thread: When is it stalking?
Admin	When is it stalking? Posted : 11 Oct, 2009 06:11 PM Ladies: i realize this question has been asked before, however, i would like to personalize it, as i suspect i want to hear the answer i want, not the one rolling around my head. i've been talking with a man for a few months, first as email and started on phone for about three times while i was traveling in September. Since then i've sent him two emails, that haven't been opened, and left three messages on his phone. He left me one message on my phone. I'm wondering how many more times to try to connect and when does it become stalking (lol) with the message leaving. He is an educated man and very busy with his work(works 60-90 hr wks). I believe him around 87% (never know :( ). He has to travel as he has clients from many states. I'm also wondering if i don't call, etc., and i'm "waiting" will he think i have started to be disinterested. In my first phone message i left, i stated he knew my number to call. The answer i would like from you is one that supports my desire to continue with our baby steps of talking on the phone. Opps, should mention in my second phone message, i was trying to meet him "live" while i was iin arizona for my daughter's school ceremony this past weekend... which is part of my concern of no reply when it was time sensitive. I would say i wasn't using any pressure.Today, i left the third message and think i should write him off. Certainly, i don't have any expectation from this on-line observation site (where we display ourselves to be observed! and not too much "dating")-which leads to why i am concerned about this typical experience. Sorry, advice about "waiting" for God's direction and choice, doesn't do it for me... i absolutely thought my ex-husband was slated for the job, and have the rationale to support it. One final note: i also stated, i think in an email, if he wasn't interested to let me know as a courtesy, just as i would return the polliteness. oh, :dunce: i just remembered i also left a text message... boy, i think i am stalking!!!:goofball: Finally, thanks and i suspect it's nice to know that we all get to experience the awkwardness of on-line dating, no matter the background or expectations. And i think i answered my own question with writing it all out. Have a good week! Post Reply
View Profile History	When is it stalking? Posted : 11 Oct, 2009 06:51 PM As an 18 year old girl. Haha. I wouldn't call it stalking as more as I would call it dependancy. And Being an 18 year old I don't expect you to listen to my opinion being younger, but maybe?? I think you have grown so attached that you forgot to leave emotional space for you to heal if the separation or not talking for lengths of time happens, as it seems to have. Take faith in God, and He will show you 1) when the right time to contact this man is and 2) if he is truly interested in you. And back off completely, that's what I do when I truly want to know if a guy/man has interest. They are warriors, It is in their blood to fight for a woman. They are hunters, that is how God created them. Let them hunt. :) I hope I helped. If you would like to talk more, feel free to message me. Finish Empty, Beth Post Reply
View Profile History	When is it stalking? Posted : 11 Oct, 2009 10:02 PM if the question even enters your mind it's stalking lol. he knows you're interested. it's not in your hands anymore. it might be time to prepare yourself to move on though. Post Reply
Phoebe2 View Profile History	When is it stalking? Posted : 12 Oct, 2009 08:40 AM Dear Golden, I can understand how confusing it could be. I had a similar situation, I wasn't that patient in giving him excuses, though. I rather to burst my own bubble.... . I think u left more than enough messages & notes, So Sis. move on. I wish u find a good godly guy who deserves your attention. In Him, Phoebe.:glow: Post Reply
Linnie41 View Profile History	When is it stalking? Posted : 12 Oct, 2009 11:36 AM As long as you didn't tell him his new living room furniture looked great from his front lawn, I think you're safe as far as being labeled a stalker. However, I would drop it where it lies right now - if he works 60-90 hour weeks, it could possibly be he's just extremely busy right now. Post Reply
Intellectual_4Play View Profile History	When is it stalking? Posted : 12 Oct, 2009 11:42 AM It seems to me that even if a guy was "busy" he would figure out a way to connect with you. Seems to me that he isn't as interested as you are or he would put out a bit more effort. The thing that would concern me is that if he is truly working that much and can't make time for you now, what makes you think if you were a "couple" he would make time for you then? Past behavior is tends to be a good indicator of future behavior, unless it is an aspect of his life that God is transforming. I'd say let him go. He doesn't seem like he's ready to put effort into this. Post Reply
View Profile History	When is it stalking? Posted : 12 Oct, 2009 12:38 PM dear folks, it could be many reasons but if it was me id back off and out the picture and not worry with them anymore. its also possible that they could either be married or have another woman.. so when its time to meet they tend to almost dissappear ya know.. and as jumps said if they really are interisted in connecting with you they will come a calling after you stop.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	When is it stalking? Posted : 13 Oct, 2009 12:07 AM He's just not that into you... Ok, so I'm not a woman but I'm putting my two cents in anyway. You are not stalking. You have shown a good amount of interest and he has chosen to be rude and drop you. I agree about the awkwardness of this whole online dating thing being more of a 'display'. It's like shopping for people. "Excuse me, where can I find the blondes? Oh, you need to go down to isle 6..." Oh, and the "I'm busy" excuse is lame. People will make time for the things they want. Post Reply
View Profile History	When is it stalking? Posted : 13 Oct, 2009 02:10 AM dear mt, your words here Oh, and the "I'm busy" excuse is lame. People will make time for the things they want. mine here i so totally agree.. we do make time for the things that are important to us.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	When is it stalking? Posted : 13 Oct, 2009 02:00 PM I make time for the people that I am interested in.Right now I tell them I am going back to school and want to be friends until I finish. I am looking for women within a 200 mile radius of my home and none respond.I have time and am not concerned.You have time.If this guy is really interested he will respond.The statement made by somebody else could be true.Maybe,he is married.Take your time.Go slow. Messge to Ole cattle- I did not realize you were an ordained Minnister.That is great.I saw you write a lot of post and checked you out.Curiousity kills the cat.:ROFL: Dennis Post Reply
View Profile History	When is it stalking? Posted : 13 Oct, 2009 11:58 PM If that is me? 60-90hrs/week - is an excuse he doesn't have time for me ... If he is interested he'll find the time & drop a line or two on regular basis. Post Reply

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