......maybe a little controversial, but here it goes......I've noticed in reading varies profiles here, and on other sites for that matter, that many of the brothers either drink socially or take 1 or 2 on occasion.
This is not to say that on profiles of sisters, that they too don't indulge. My question, which will obviously go for both genders, but right now I'm addressing my sisters........could this be something you'd compromise on? I ask because personally I've noticed that a lot of brothers who may view my profile and I in turn view theirs, they either drink socially, or on occasion. I, by choice, don't drink or smoke and that's something I just can't compromise on.
Ironically when I view these profiles, a large number of these brothers really have so many other qualities I do admire in a man.....it's just a little frustration! I can't help but wonder if amongst those few who had sooooooo many other qualities I admire, that there might have been just one who........well you guys know where I'm going with this, still knowing that who God has for me, is for me..........I just had to ask(smile)!
JUST TO NOTE***In God's Word, there are so many verses dealing with the consequences of "strong drink", in Proverbs especially, that I really didn't want to go there, but again I know this subject is sensitive to many and my intentions is NOT to offend anyone.....I just want to have a healthy, adult discussion......be blessed!
Hey Sisygirl, my sister in Christ! Here's what I'm asking...... say if you are contacted by a brother here at CDFF and after reading his profile, you find that he has many of the qualities that you are looking for in a potential mate, but he either drinks socially or on occasion and you don't. Would you compromise your standards.....reaching out to him anyway knowing he drinks alcohol, because of those same qualities you like about him?
Or would you respectively decline his advances because you are not going to compromise your standards? And yes I know this topic is sensitive, but I want to believe that we are all adults here and can discuss things maturely.
We're adults here who should be free to talk about anything and everything concerning our daily issues of life. I love such topics
Thank you for clarifying your question. My answer to you begins with ME first before I can say anything about the brother.
I'm currently a 'mess' of a servant right now with habits that I can account for AND habits I can't bring myself to account for. (I won't go deeper into the 'hebit' issue fore its gonna turn this subject around) There are things I grew up craving for from a very young age, till now i'm still trying to figure out how and when was I introduced to some of these things. Can only assume that my mother introduced me/us (if my twin experiences the same cravings too) when she was pregnant with us. That's the only possible answer with habits I can't account fore.
The only thing that keeps me away from doing some of these things is Jesus Blood. Can't even be booatful or take credit for good behavior cause I know very well what I would have turned out to be without He's grace. My experiences have humbled me and tought me to give a benefit of a double OR find out what could have caused one to behave in a certain way or partaking in certain activities.
Coming to the brother now:
Reaching out doesn't necessarily mean i'm responding or initiating a relationship, though in this regard we're more focused on pursuing a relationship if I got you right dear sis. I'll make my intentions clear as to why am I reaching out. It may take some persuasion in early days of communicating before I can get him at ease enough to open up about some issues that may seem a little uncomfortable being discussed.
I don't think it will be wiser of me to mention my concern 'drinking' at first side, he's not gonna coperate but put on a wall of diffense.... Will I get through him? Nope I won't, may even be blocked. If and when the timing is 'right' i'll then be gentle in finding out he's drinking occasionally. Could be in process of deliverance for that matter. Maybe he was drinking far more than he's drinking now, there's progress if only I can seek to understand (provided he's christian ofcause)
How did he start drinking? Some ladies drink when pregnant, can imagen what that does to a child. I'll first seek understanding what could he be reacting to... Then decide after if he's worth the effort.
Sisygirl thanks again for your insightful input(smile)! I really want to stay on one angle with this.....should I, taking your advice regarding giving each brother the benefit of the doubt, respond to each individual accordingly?.....not bringing my bias or standards in the mix when fellowshipping with brothers who do drink......ummmmm something to think about! I'll really have to pray on this!
Definitely an interesting topic which I have struggled with over the years. I am more open to at least have a dialog with someone who drinks because many Christians have been taught differently about drinking.
A discussion on how much and how often they drink would be appropriate as well as why they drink and their Biblical views on drinking.
Could be they drink lightly at a work or family function.
They might be willing to quit altogether for the right woman, with the right encouragement, or once shown why you consider it against the Bible.
If you met someone at work or church or some other event, you might now they drink for a while because it's not a question asked when you first meet. On these sites it's one of those questions that is to be answered up front.
Being open for discussion does not mean compromise of beliefs.
Teach ib, thank you! I certainly can be open for dialogue at least.....not compromising my beliefs, as I think about, really can't be an option! This is way I wanted to address this issue here......to gain the wisdom and advice to move forward....thanks again!
For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine; and ye say, He hath a devil. The Son of man is come eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners!
John 2: 1-10
And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there: And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage. And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come. His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it. And there were set there six waterpots of stone, after the manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins apiece. Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim. And he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the governor of the feast. And they bare it. When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was: (but the servants which drew the water knew;) the governor of the feast called the bridegroom, And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now.
Really did not want to jump into this thread but some feel so strongly about their take on whether drinking is biblically right or not, I thought that I would weigh in.
If you feel that God is leading you to make not drinking a part of your requirements for an acceptable spouse. Then that is it. Only you can hear God for you. Jesus is the only Priest and mediator. r
