Author	Thread: Cut to the Chase
Admin	Cut to the Chase Posted : 20 Oct, 2013 07:30 PM What do you think when guys cut to the chase and suggest they'd like meeting in person in the initial email? It's what I've been doing lately so I was just wondering what your take on it is if/when guys do this, since my feeling is it could either be a really good idea or a really bad idea. I still make it a point to be funny and interesting and show I read their profile and not be pushy and everything, but I'm done with just sending open ended emails that go nowhere, even when they do get responded to. Thanks! Post Reply
Cat4Christ777 View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 21 Oct, 2013 01:20 PM Renov8Elov8, Considering the fact that just about everyone has some form of access to the Internet--including some very creepy characters (use your imagination!)--and the fact that women are physically weaker than men, we are less interested in meeting a total stranger right away than men are. This is simply because meeting just anyone from the Internet could be the very LAST thing a woman ever does. We have to be concerned about our personal safety ALL THE TIME. The fact that you guys don't have to think about such things when you imagine meeting someone off the Internet is the likely reason why you assume making such a request in your first message is OK. You are not thinking of how your request is received by the women you message. We mignt see your "innocent request" as a ploy to bring you a new 'victim.' While I am not accusing you of anything, and your particular motives might not be of any danger to us; what about the NEXT guy who asks? How are we to know which one of you is safe to meet, and which is the next Ted Bundy? (For those who do not know who Ted Bundy was, he was a sexually sadistic serial killer who tortured and murdered several dozen young women across several U.S. states during the 1970s. He was eventually caught, tried, convicted, and later executed for his crimes. His success in murdering so many women is attributed to his ability to fool women by his good looks, intelligence, and evident charm.) Think about the 'Craigslist Killer' who made headlines after meeting, and harming, some female "Message Therapists" he arranged to meet through that website? He's called a "killer" because he murdered one of those women. The Internet that allows us all to communicate on THIS website is EXACTLY the same Internet that allowed that man to meet all those women from Craigslist. Sorry, I am not trying to scare anyone here; it's just that, as a former cop, I know what can happen when strangers meet for the first time. Sometimes it turns out to be the last time for one of them. Ladies, no matter how a man presents himself, how long you've been chatting/talking with him, nor what he has said to you; ALWAYS be especially careful when meeting him for the first time. Take all of the recommended precautions you read about. Don't be afraid to bring someone along with you, just in case. The advice, "Better to be safe than sorry" exists for a reason. Please take it to heart! Again, sorry about my over-protective nature! Not meaning any offense to any of the Christian men on CDFF. I'm sure most of you are awesome gentlemen. Be safe, take care, and God bless you all! --Cat Post Reply
teach_ib View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 21 Oct, 2013 04:50 PM I agree with, Cat...not a good idea to suggest meeting in the first few messages. It's always tough to know when to trust the anonymous person in the profile, better to show respect for the security of the other person. Post Reply
mcubed View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 21 Oct, 2013 05:01 PM I think it depends on who you are dealing with. Meeting face to face after the first e-mail is creepy. By the third or so phone call yes acceptable if in a public place. That I have control over. Cat4Christ 777 had valid points that maybe men don�t think about. Post Reply
1jon310 View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 21 Oct, 2013 05:29 PM Renov OK think of this from another point of view. Your safety. There are men who pose as women on dating site and men do get raped more then you hear about in the news. Men are too embarrassed t report it. When I was in the Marines there was a sailor from our base that was lured to a secluded location by one woman. He was raped by six women and then they beat him almost to death with baseball bats. Also there are those few women who will accuse you of things that you did not do and you may be blackmailed, arrested, or end up with a reputation for abusing/assaulting women. As noted by our sister. Thing of the girls who meet you without screening you first. If things go well she may think that she can do the same thing with the next guy and get hurt. As men we need to think ahead and plan for the safety of our sisters. No? Post Reply
mcubed View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 21 Oct, 2013 05:48 PM I agree with you about men� it is legal to carry a concealed weapon in my state and some of us women know how to shoot� it is good to have a base line of trust before meeting�. No matter the gender� think about it!!! Post Reply
1jon310 View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 21 Oct, 2013 06:02 PM Cat4 Gives good advice. And sister, do not be afraid about offending us men on a subject like this. I would much rather be offended then any woman be hurt, sister or otherwise. r Post Reply
View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 21 Oct, 2013 07:32 PM You all sure scare easy. Did it not occur to you that maybe the date could take place in a public place during the day, with a friend or even a group, and that the woman could carry something like mace, or a knife, or even gun, and even call a friend before, during, and after to check in (btw, don't just tell people to be safe and then not tell them how to do it), and all the other things you should be doing on every date you go on that I don't know about or forgot to mention. I don't know why you just jump immediately to the conclusion of seeing it in the most darkest, creepiest light possible, but that definitely says more about you than me. It is possible to go on dates AND be safe believe it or not. It doesn't have to be all of one or the other. I'm not asking them to meet me in a sketchy part of town at night alone, I'm just putting it out there that I'm interested in meeting them sometime, and then from there see if they're interested in making plans, WHICH INCLUDE THEIR COMFORT AND SAFETY FIRST AND FOREMOST! Good grief.. Post Reply
1jon310 View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 21 Oct, 2013 08:22 PM Brother This is a fallen world. Mabe it does say something about me that I go to the dark place. I was trained in terrorism countervention back in the 80s. Things have grown darker since then. Also I have listened first hand to far too many women who have been preyed upon by strangers and by the men they loved and should have loved them rightly. Yes, that makes an impact on a person. As a man it is hard to not be horrified and angry at the abuse that is dealt at the hands of other men. There are people here who have lived through many things through the Grace of God. Please accept the council of those that have lived long enough to accrue some wisdom. Then you will be less likely to look back upon your life when you are old and regret having not considered others more highly then yourself. r r Post Reply
1jon310 View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 21 Oct, 2013 08:53 PM Imagine this Imagine looking into a woman's eyes as she relates to you the story of how she was abused, beaten or raped, watching the tears flow down her face as she trembles at the memory of something that happened when she was only in her twenties or younger. All the while knowing that there is nothing that you can do to comfort her in that moment. Not as a son, a brother, a father or a friend. You can do nothing to comfort because you are a man. Now imagine looking into those eyes over and over again, eyes with different colors but the same eyes. If you can imagine this and experience one iota of their pain, see how lightly you can take their safety r Ladies please forgive me if this stirs up anything, I do not want to pick at scabs. I cannot respond in a private message to my brother and I believe this needs to be said. Post Reply
View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 22 Oct, 2013 09:16 AM The world is very wicked, and there are a lot of dangers in it hence why women can be hesitant to meet straight away. I was almost kidnapped a couple of different times when I was younger, once from a very public bookstore in broad daylight and once from a gas station late at night. The Lord was with me though, and I was able to get away unharmed. It is important to trust the Lord, and pray in everything we do. One suggestion I might have is that if you were so willing, you could offer her a call to your pastor (if you go to a smaller church where you could have a more personal relationship with him.) You could tell her the name of your church, and have her get their number, if that would comfort her more about meeting you. Have patience with us, and just think about how wonderful it will be when you meet this woman and she becomes comfortable around you, and you get to know her more and more, how worth it it all was to wait. Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. - Joshua 1:9 Post Reply

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