So I just have to throw this out there, I'm one of the youngest guys on this site. despite my age I like to think I'm fairly attractive and I have a whole lot going for me in my life. Recently, I met with a woman who was older than me by a little over a decade and ended up not working out on that basis.
So my question to you ladies, are the any women out there that still go for the young guys, or are my chances better out on the road?
I have been in that place. I figured that beauty does not have an age limit. I still do. But while we are commanded to be equally yolked in a relationship one Christian to another, it is extremely rare that romantic relationships work out well when the age spread is more then a few years. At least one party is trying to work out their own issues at the expense of the other. By all means have friends and councilors of all ages, genders and races. Learn and grow with each of them but remember marriage is "until death do you part" anything less then that is a lie.
Please don't take any of the preceding wrong. Just an older brother sharing with a younger brother.
As an 'older woman,' let me give you my perspective on this sort of relationship:
I married a man who was 9 years younger, and even that spread was too much. He apparently did not know what love was, for he cheated after only 2.5 years, and was unwilling to give up his new girlfriend. So, I had to divorce him.
My experience taught me that people should have relationships with those who are close to their own age and maturity level. This also provides that both are in the same stage of life, and more compatible.
I get a lot of attention from males who are 15-25 years younger than me, and they all claim to be 'extraordinarily mature' for their age; yet they want a family. They forget that the older women they want often have either already had their kids and they're grown, or can no longer have kids due to menopause.
The fact that women mature faster than men also has a hand in this issue. Which is probably why men in my age range on this site, and others, are OK with starting a relationship with women who are half their age. Not sure they're looking for the same thing I am (marriage, aka love), but to each their own. They often end up unhappy with their choice.
May/December romances just don't work. Please consider women who are close to your own age, for a better chance at compatibility and a long life together.
My X is 14 yrs older, and in the 6yrs of our marriage, my love of learning (exploration), my youth was being drained. He was the child really, and I refused to spend my early 20s nagging a grown man.
Didn't date much after that, but when I did, the guy was younger. Somewhere around the age of 40, I realized I wanted to spend my life with a guy who was creative but also; I needed a guy who has more relatable experience. Maybe his st 45 was the same as mine, "Sugar Sugar" by the Archies cut off the back of a cereal box, and maybe he played it until it was destroy too. Someone who was around to see the very first microwaves.. "Easy Bake Ovens" maybe he was somewhere on this planet like me, dumbfounded at all the chaos of the moon landing; Really?? The Robinsons did that kind of thing every week, and in color!
I really don't think I'm talking nostaglia completely, my Gen got in there before they stopped offering a bit of wisdom along with the entertainment, and truthfully, we were attracted to more adult issues, me and my friends were..
An age gap can be a blessing or a hindrance, it depends on what each partner wants, needs and expects. I don't believe we are completely the same person in every relationship, there is only one you, and only one them and both should be constantly growing. Can you both continue to grow together would be my question.
I was really trying to make it work because we were compatible almost to a T. She just said I "looked" too young for her. I find that strange because I get a lot of people guessing me in my mid 20's but then again, she was 33. That said, the last relationship I had that was really successful was a with a woman who was 37. That only ended because she moved and I never got to see her much.
I believe age differences need to be considered. While marriage between 2 of significant age differences can work, is it a really healthy relationship?
I would wonder why a woman in her 30s would date a teenager. You write about 2 relationships with older women...so one of them must have been when you were under 18.
You are only 18--just barely a legal adult. If you had a relationship with a 37-year-old in your past, then you were underage and she was/is a pedophile!
There is something SERIOUSLY wrong with that, don't you think? She was taking advantage of you. She should have been reported to the police and should be in jail now.
How are you not seeing this? Your perspective is WAY out of whack, kiddo. Why do you think she moved away? She was afraid of being CAUGHT!
You have a long path to being mature enough to see the truth for what it is.
I am very sorry you were used like that. She was wrong on so many levels, and certainly not Christian. I pray God helps you get over losing your innocence to someone who never truly cared about you.
Now that you are of age, take some time to be alone and learn about who you are as a person, love yourself FIRST before trying to love another. It's part of the maturity process, and is critical to forming lasting relationships.
How that usually plays out in real life is that we are attracted to somebody who has qualities that we want for ourselves or that we did not experience when we were in our formative years.
It is alright to seek nurturing from an older woman but it is dishonest (with ourselves to begin with) to be romantically involved with a surrogate mother.
I have ministered to pediphiles and the vast majority of them seek out someone young to try and posses (through another person) their innocence that was taken from them. If you advance the ages of both people so that they are of legal age then the issue is usually that the older person is attempting to recapture their youth or more innocent times.
I have asked many men why they wanted to date younger women. The top two reasons hidden underneath all the male bravado are that they make them (men) feel young by dating the younger women. Second is that the young women are quote (bubbly). This when asked for clarification means that younger women are not weighed down by the fears and worries of children and family. My mother in law even had a book that taught that if a woman loved someone that she should worry about them.
As one who worried to the point of paralyzing fear in regard to my children I can attest to the fact that worrying about anybody or anything is not God plan for us. If we trust in an all knowing, all powerful God. Then fear is folly and a slap in the face to God Almighty.
Secular therapists wont tell you anything is wrong because they are trained that morals an right and wrong do not belong in the counciling office. Sadly most pastors will not tell you the reasons that May/December relationships are wrong is because they do not want to offend anybody.
OK ladies your turn. What are the nefarious reasons that women seek out younger men for romance?
As for the second one, I am almost 19 now and the relationship that just went under wasn't much of a relationship but it was getting close. We dated for nearly a month. I would also like to make it clear that I DO like women my age. I'm not specifically after older women lol. I was just wondering if there is really a substantial reason as to why the second relationship did not work and why those types of relationships generally don't work.
