Quick background: About a year and a half ago I met a very solid Christian female. I was Catholic before we started talking and I had alot of kinks that needed to be worked out in my spiritual life. For reasons I won't mention I felt like God hated me. Anyways, she saved me, we became best friends and then shortly after we started dating.
This was the first true Christian female I've ever dated. She was compassionate and understanding yet she was firm in her faith to the point that God worked through her to make me a better man.
Well, she told me I was everything she wanted in a husband, but she had to pray to God to see if it was right.
I went on a mission trip and when I came back she told me that she had fasted and for the first 5 days had gotten a yes, but the last 2 days had been no.
So we (more so her than me) decided that we should stop dating.
This left me confused and very hurt. I'm over the hurt, but I am still a little confused. I'm sure there are a plenty of bible passages that explain why God would do something like this etc but that is not my question. Ladies my question is simply: Is this the proper way to find a husband?
Like I said this was my only Christian relationship so I have nothing to base it on. Thank you
I believe it is important that we as believers involve prayer and/or fasting in any decision, especially when choosing who to marry. However, it concerns me that your ex would say that for five days the answer was �yes� and the last �two� was no. Unlike us God, is not unstable. He does not lie.
This left me confused also. God is not the author of confusion. So I believe something other then God may be at work here. Stay steadfast in seeking Gods will, this path will be better than the path you may plan....In His love...toosanger
Well did you knw i got da same treatment as you and am verry confused.just to put it brifely:
I was ofcource saved and was seeking a partner in god will and then onday at a mission the pastors daughter came and spoke to me out of nowhere i dint expect it she was sweet and i liked her at first thoght.we spoke and felt hearts melting for each other.we became good friends so much thatwe ended up texting each other even at the middle fof the nigh soo much close.finaly i asked her out coz i felt he lord led me to do so. and then our parests wre notified and and was agreed to be married soon.she trusted me i trusted her...but after we dated 4 six months some wretched person had called up her mom and said that i am taking drugs.( now this was my past b4 i gt saved) and doing worship at church utter caos.my gal didnt belive me but the parents wre so infuenced that they made her belive and she did and to make long story short it was sorry ending for me as she regarded me as a drug adict and has started dating anothr guy.NOW I AM NOT AYNYMORE INTO DRUGS COZ I AM WASHED IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS AND THERS NO CONDEMNATION FOR THOSE WHO ARE IN CHRIST ( gosh we even woke up early morning to pray together over the phone) she dosent want me coosponding with her anymore.its over.NOW TELL ME WISE PEOPLE.SHOULD I BLAME GOD OR MYSELF OR WHAT MEANING IS THERE TO THIS,WHY WUD GOD DO SUCH A THING.JUST LIKE FOR YOU JULIO.WHY DOSE GOD TAKE AWAY THE CLOSEST AND PRECIOUS THING IN OUR LIF LIKE YOUR S AND MY GAL...
If you had let everyone know that were a recovered drug user to start with, this would never have been an issue. Everyone at my church knows I used drugs before coming to Christ, and they have no problem with it, as a matter of fact, I preach the Sunday evening service. If this was told to her and she already knew, she would have been mad at whoever told her for trying to start trouble.
Your drug use is part of your testimony, let people know what God has done for you, they will have a lot more respect for you if you are honest about your past.
Thanks everyone for reading/responding. The combintion of chozen2b and toosanger have helped relieve some if not all of the confusion!
Ken,
While I agree with klmarten62 to a certain extent, I disagree that telling her before you started dating would have changed anything (I do support the idea that you should have told her b4 you started dating because there should be no secrets between best friends). The fact that she is already dating another guy leads me to believe that she was not fully committed in the relationship. My ex as far as I know is not dating anyone and is focusing on her relationship with God and school as am I. We are both open to the possibility of meeting someone new, but are not bound and determined to. Furthermore, if she truly loved you than she would have prayed to God and asked if it was right rather than relying on friends and family; as much as I love both friends and family the ultimate person I turn to for my decision is God. Did she even pray for guidance once finding this out? It seems like she allowed other humans to forge a decision for her.
My advice would simply be to take this as a lesson learned. I've actually become much closer to God since this experience and I think for the first time in my life I truly relied on him to get me through an experience. I have also come to realize that much of my relationship with God was based on my relationship with her. She was the only person I did bible studies with. She was the only person that I prayed with at night. She was the only one I made myself vulnerable to. Once she was gone it truly was up to me to make an effort to connect to God. Now that I have I can be the man required in a Christian relationship with God at the center.
An example of the goodness of God working through a tough situation is the fact that we were able to discuss a similar past experience and connect! God's mystery revealed! lol
I would like to clarify one thing: I do not believe God 'took' her away from me. What I didn't understand is if this was a natural part of a Christian relationship. Does the woman fast and pray for an answer?
Thanks to the responses to my post I have come to the conclusion that it she was too young and immature to make such a life changing decision and perhaps her own hesitation got in the way of truly reaching an answer from God. If this is wrong or you have anything to add please let me know!
My heart got very sad when I read �WHY DOSE GOD TAKE AWAY THE CLOSEST AND PRECIOUS THING IN OUR LIFE LIKE YOUR S AND MY GAL... �. God is not to blame; in fact, He is the only source we have for hope and healing. I am not really a big one on sharing my testimony to such a broad public; however, I am going to share a small amount so you will know that my response is not without validity.
The first love of my life whom I was with for five years was shot and killed in a robbery, and then my ex-husband and I, whom I was in love with, divorced after about twelve years of being together. Now understand I have had many years of growing in God�s great grace and mercy and I am so grateful that as I read His Word and seek Him, He leads me into all truth and His Word never fails.
God did not take my first love sin did�. The Bible says that there is �There is unto man a day in which he shall die�, and as far as I know, the death ratio is 1:1. The Bible didn�t say which day, how old, someone will be for the day which he is to die� just �a day�. The Bible says, �The wages of sin is death and that death has interned the world,� (Romans 6:23) but praise God the Bible says �Oh death where is your sting� (1 Corinthians 15:55) -- Jesus took the sting out of death. The Bible also says that He (Jesus) would not leave me here as an orphan but He sent the comforter (the Holy Spirit) to comfort me (John 14:18). And that is exact
And as to my divorce truly all the same applies though it was not literal death it in many ways was another form of it. I had to make a choice to be angry and die on the inside too or to turn to the only source of life and healing. It was in the running to Him, my source of life, that I found healing and not just healing but He once again healed true to His word and He not only gives me life but life more abundantly!!!! Jeremiah 29:11 says, �For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.� Additionally, Ephesians 3:20 says, �Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.� And frankly I believe Him; everyday He proves Himself over and over. He is a good God loving, faithful, and true!! Was it sad? Yes. Was it hard? Yes. Nevertheless, I have a living hope who never fails�. Jesus. Has my heart healed? YES! But it couldn�t have if I would have ran from Him.
It has been my experience that when it is really God who takes something away from you, He always replaces it with something better. It may not happen right away, He may wait until are hearts are in the right place to receive.
The thing is she fasted for five days God is not unstable yet He changes His mind a lot. Remeber king saul God regreated later on that that saul was king. Then God choosed david a man after His own heart. Might be the one who u are searching for is right beside u. God is kind just ask the holy spirit to guide u to that special someone. And always in christ name.
